With Beijing getting ready for all the Olympiphiles, misuse of English is bound to be on a rise. But in my opinion, it’s the tourists’ responsibility to understand their hosts.
Here, then, are a few choice examples of how the language barrier can be breached - and in the Chinese style, using much more force than necessary:

…but taste like Cat

Here, crippie, take my seat. You look a little gravid.

Dericious with flied lice.

The entrance to my Crib, Yo!

To be honest, sounds better than canned water, doesn’t it?

Go over there to die please. Thank you!

Good to know…

How rude… some of my best friends are liquor heads!

I’d think twice about entering…

Much tastier than the grown up variety!

But it’s nothing compared to how the Robster feels.

"…I love starbutts and I cannot lie…"

I wouldn’t tickle this one.

Weird, because horsebeans sound delicious.

AKA ‘Dress Barn’

No no no no no no…..

This one is just too easy

Now that’s what I call "Full Service"!

See you after the flight, Mom!

Should be in front of half the hotels…

The Dork is delicious, but I’m not sure about the Barboos.